


The Line Between Your Heart And Mine

by peeksandhiscaptain (jamie1988)



Category: Baseball RPF, Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23157553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamie1988/pseuds/peeksandhiscaptain
Summary: BASEBALL IS BACK IN CHICAGO. AND SO IS LOVE.Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews have spent the last thirteen years bringing baseball back to Chicago (and no, the White Sox don’t count).Jonny is a monster on the mound, using laser focus to throw strike after strike. Pat has an uncanny ability to crouch behind home plate and read the batter, signaling to Jonny what to pitch. Both of them are hell for any runner trying to steal a base.So it’s safe to say that they trust each other: through all the ups and downs, win or lose. That trust is important between a pitcher and a catcher, and theirs is solid. It’s built over years of bickering, stealth crying on shoulders, and the knowledge the other person knows all of you and decided to stick around anyway. It’s love, and even if it’s not the kind Jonny wants, well, you can’t have everything, and he’s not going to let pesky feelings of [surely!] unrequited love ruin what they have.But now, after more than a decade and three World Series wins, those feelings are less inclined to stay buried.Luckily for them.
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Comments: 21
Kudos: 65





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This is my first real 1988 fic, fleshed out from a blurb I wrote for the 2018 Blackhawks Summer Fest.
> 
> Fic title is from "What If I Said?" By Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner (1997).
> 
> There's going to be some handwaving in terms of baseball facts and I've mixed Cubs players with Blackhawks players for the fun of it. I'm using what would been the Cubs 2020 schedule if it weren't for COVID-19.

Jonathan Toews has been in love with Patrick Kane for as long as he can remember, probably longer. There’s absolutely no point in denying that. He’s used to it, used to keeping it locked away as much as possible, used to spending all his time on and off the field with Pat firmly in his sights and not letting his feelings spill all over their friendship.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t wish sometimes. 

Like right now, as Jonny watches Pat goof off with his fellow catchers. The urge to slide up behind him and tuck his face into Patrick’s neck was almost unbearable. But after thirteen years, Jonny was quick to rein it in. 

Pat’s grin shifts to a warm smile when he sees Jonny walking over, moving away from Willson Contreras, Victor Caratini, and Alex Debrincat to muscle his way into Jonny’s arms for a hug. “Jonny! ‘Bout time you showed up!”

“I’ve been here for an hour already, waiting for you and your lot of losers.” Jonny’s words are fond, wrapping an arm around Pat’s waist and raising the other in a wave to the others. 

Willson waves back but can’t resist a little teasing. “Didn’t you two have breakfast together this morning?”

Pat sticks his tongue out and pouts up at Jonny. “Jonny, they’re being mean to me.” Jonny chuckles. 

“Be nice,” he admonishes with a mock glare. “Or Skip will suddenly have mysterious reasons to make you run laps for a while.”

All three bow in surrender, knowing Jonny can tempt their new manager into some fun, and Jonny leads Pat over to the bullpen to begin warming up for the first game of spring training. 

**************************************************************************************************************

“Twelve to two, baby!” Pat dances away from Jonny’s hand reaching out to mess with his curls. “And I know what you’re going to say already, so don’t even start.”

Jonny rolls his eyes, shrugging out of his jersey to avoid watching Pat do the same. “And what am I going to say, Peeksy?”

Throwing his smelly jersey in Jonny’s locker for the fun of it, Pat points a finger at him. “You’re going to say that it’s only spring training, that it’s only the A’s, and it wouldn’t even count on your record as a win anyway, because you only played two innings.” He pokes Jonny in his chest, right over his heart. “But it does matter because it’s you. So cheer up J-Bone.”

“If you say so.” Jonny presses his advantage, grabbing Pat’s hand and using the grip to pull him closer so he can finally riffle a hand through his hair. “Now take both our dirty clothes to the basket since you seem to have it confused with my locker, you jerk.”

Pat gathers up all the laundry, “As you wish, my liege,” and snorts at the bird Jonny throws in his direction. “Been in America too long, babe.”

Babe. Jonny walks to the shower as he wills his heart to go back to its rightful place. Pat’s an affectionate guy, always throwing out ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ without thought. Jonny knows it doesn’t mean anything, but that doesn’t stop the jolt of hope, just for a second, every time he hears it. 

**************************************************************************************************************

The remainder of spring training, well, it wasn’t the greatest. Out of twenty-one games, the Cubs won seven and tied once; Jonny and Pat played for four of the wins and the tie. They bickered playfully about what that could possibly mean for the regular season for them, each talking the other up ridiculously in turn (but each actually meaning every word).

After the last game of spring training is cancelled due to weather, the boys pack up and get ready to head back to Chicago. Jonny settles into his usual seat on the plane, chatting with whoever walks by. Base coach Patrick Sharp attempts to actually sit next to him, but Jonny chases him off with threats of telling his wife Abby who really broke three pieces of her favorite China. As he moves to vacate the area, mumbling about Jonny’s cruelness, Pat comes up behind him and barks, “Get the hell outta my seat, Sharpy.” 

“I’m going, I’m going.” Sharpy raises his hands in surrender and moves out of the way into the row behind them. “You two are weirdly and irrevocably codependent, even after all these years.” He grins. “Never change.”

Pat grins back. “We won’t. Now scram.”

Jonny chuckles as he settles fully in his seat, grabbing a pillow and shoving it behind his back so it protects him from the wall of the plane. Pat lifts the arm rest out of the way and ducks under Jonny’s arm to settle against his chest, wiggling as close as possible.

They’ve been sitting like this on planes most of their careers, sharing whatever book Pat’s currently reading or watching TV. Pat reads much faster than Jonny, but Jonny’s never cared about that, and if he gets too lost, Pat’s always willing to slow down the page turning or explain. Mostly Jonny just likes to hold Pat, allowing himself to pretend that it’s different, that it’s more than friendship letting him this close.

“So what are we reading today?”


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is more pining, some hurt/comfort, and more love.

The season opens with a bang in Milwaukee, as Jonny leads the Cubs six to two against the Brewers. Jonny takes the win with quiet thanks, but Pat’s over the moon, recounting the game and every strikeout to whoever will listen (or doesn’t walk away fast enough).

“Peeks. Give the guys a break.” Jonny can’t keep the smile out of his voice as he wrangles Pat away from Ben Zobrist, mouthing a “sorry” his way. Ben brushes it off of course, but Jonny knows him well enough to know he’s thankful nonetheless.

“Oh come on, Jonny. If you aren’t gonna talk about yourself and your greatness, I’ll just have to do it for you.” Pat grins up at him impishly, but Jonny can hear the sincerity in his words and fights down a flush.

**************************************************************************************************************

The Cubs drop the next two games. 

Jonny isn’t expecting anything when David Ross walks his way, so he’s a little surprised when he stops next to Jonny’s locker and sits down.

“So.” David grins a bit. “You’re starting tomorrow.”

Pat whoops, and Jonny immediately swats at him at the next locker to get him to shut up, dragging him onto the bench by the back of his shirt. “Rossy, maybe the fans have it right when they call you ‘Grandpa’. I just started for the season opener. Stromer hasn’t had a go yet.”

David aims his own swat at the back of Jonny’s head, causing Jonny to grin and duck, leaning into Pat.

“Brat. The other boys all decided that you should have both starts, something about you being king?” Jonny groans and hides his face in Pat’s shoulder while Pat cackles. “Whatever, I’ve decided it’s early enough in the season to roll with their crazy. They played ‘rock, paper, scissors’ for an hour to decide who would lose a start.”

Pat completely loses the battle with his laughter at that point, collapsing against his locker before sliding to the floor and leaning against Jonny’s legs. Even Jonny can’t resist a smile, thankful for his team’s ridiculousness and faith. Dylan Strome, Kyle Hendricks, and Jon Lester are the best bunch of starters Jonny could ask to be a part of.

David walks away, mumbling under his breath that he didn’t remember this team being quite so crazy when he was playing with them versus managing them. 

After a moment, Pat finally calms down, but remains propped against Jonny. “What’s up, buttercup? Your face looks like it did that one time you ate too many sour patch kids.”

“Ugh, you’re such an ass. I thought we agreed to never bring that up again.” Jonny winces. “Nothing’s wrong. Just, you know. This is a big deal, to get both openers.”

“Do you really think we can’t do it?” Pat twists himself until he's wrapped completely around Jonny’s legs. He looks serious. “Do you really think you can’t do it?”

Jonny smiles gently and runs his fingers through Pat’s hair, pushing it out of his eyes. “I know you can do it. You could catch every game and not miss a beat. Me, I’m not so sure anymore.” He tries to brush it off with a joke. “You’re just excited that you get to start for both games, Peeksy. Don’t lie.”

“Jonny. Jon. Jonathan. Look at me.” Pat waits until he knows Jonny’s actually listening, locking eyes and holding.

“You’re right. I am excited to start both openers. But you’re also wrong. Because I wouldn’t be excited if I thought it would go any way other than our way. Skip believes in you. The guys believe in you. I believe in you. We just need you to believe in yourself.” 

Jonny leans over, pressing a kiss to the top of Pat’s head. “I’ll do my best.”

Pat’s grin is bright. “Then it’s as good as done.”

**************************************************************************************************************

The next night, Jonny and Pat light it up. They shut out the Pirates, beating them five nothing in what feels like the smoothest win in a long time. 

Jonny’s pitches are on point, rarely anything but a strike, purposeful and complete. Pat reads nearly every batter perfectly, seeming to feel in his bones when someone was going to try and steal, signaling to Jonny in the same moment that Jonny was already turning to throw him out.

The team briefly goes out to celebrate, but they have a game the next day, so it ends early. After, Pat follows Jonny home without thinking, going into Jonny’s bedroom to the drawer filled with his own clothes to change. Jonny changes quickly too and they settle on the couch to watch highlights from other games, Pat laying on his side, Jonny wedged between the back of the couch and Pat, holding him close.

They fall asleep that way. As usual, Jonny wakes up after a few hours, easing himself from behind Pat. He checks the locks, shutting down the TV and the lights, before picking up Pat and carefully carrying him to the guest room. Pat wakes up slightly, curling his arms around Jonny’s neck to help balance his weight better. “I still don’t understand how you can carry me so easily.”

Jonny chuckles softly. “You only weigh about a hundred pounds, Pat.”

“Not true!” Pat’s grumbles are sleepy, but this is an old argument and he doesn’t really need to be awake for it anyway. “I’ve almost made it to two hundred!”

“Only after we go to Chipotle and even then only for a day at most.” Jonny sets Pat down on the bed, tugging the covers from underneath his body and tucking him in.

Bickering forgotten in the face of sleep, Pat reaches out a hand, flapping until Jonny moves closer and Pat can tap his chest. “Best. Friend. Ever.” Within seconds, he’s asleep again.

It stings in the usual way, the reminder that he’s a friend and not the more Jonny dreams of. But he’s long decided that being Pat’s best friend is worth the pain of it all, the constant, unconscious reminders that Jonny will never have what he actually craves.

Jonny rubs his hands over his face and sighs, before leaving the room. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Over the next week and a half, Jonny and Pat start twice, losing both games in the end, once against the Diamondbacks, and once in Pittsburgh. They aren’t horrible games, but they certainly aren’t good, and Pat can see it starting to get to Jonny. The day after the Pittsburgh loss, Jonny avoids everyone, including Pat. At least until Pat spends ten minutes threatening to sing pop songs at the top of his lungs outside his bedroom door. 

“Jesus, Pat, we like the neighbors, remember?”

When Pat’s finally allowed in, he finds Jonny in bed, curled up with a pillow over his head. “Hey babe, you okay? This is a little much, even for you.”

“I’m fine, you ass. I just have a headache.” Jonny lifts the pillow long enough to glare pathetically, before hiding again.

Pat winces in sympathy. Jonny’s concussion history is terrifying to Pat and he can’t help remembering the last time Jonny was hit by a ball. He’d missed half a season after being hit and subsequently driving his car into a pole. “How bad is it? Scale it for me, you know the drill.”

Jonny must be able to hear the fear in Pat’s voice, because he lifts the pillow again, and his face is sheepish. “It’s only a three, Peeks. I’ll be fine. Promise.”

Knowing Jonny wouldn’t lie to him about this (again), Pat moves to close the curtains, running a hand over Jonny’s left calf before gently closing the door behind him.

An hour later, Jonny emerges from his room to see Pat reading on the couch, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone playing quietly in the background. Jonny can’t help but smile, making his way over.

Jonny drops himself next to Pat and nudges his way into his lap, making Pat laugh as he moves the book out of the way. “Feeling better?” Jonny hums in agreement, but makes no move to change positions. Pat smiles and runs his fingers through Jonny’s hair. “Alright then. But you have to watch the next one with me too.” 

Jonny was okay with that. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Only a couple days later, Jonny wakes to someone playing drums on his skull, unable to open his eyes more than a split second before the light in his bedroom forces him to close them again. Groping around for his phone, he pries open his eyes open long enough to send Pat a text, then tosses his phone to the floor and curls in a ball. This has moved from simple headache to massive migraine and all he wants is Pat.

Besides, if he didn’t tell Pat, Pat would kill him.

Less than thirty minutes go by before Jonny hears the front door open and Pat moving through the apartment. Seconds later, Pat’s in the bedroom, reaching the bed in near silence. 

“Hey baby. Can you give me a number?” Pat makes sure to speak in a whisper, settling himself near Jonny’s hip on the bed.

Jonny has to work to get the answer out. “Nine.” It’s said so low his voice cracks and Pat has to lean in to hear properly. 

Pat puts a hand on Jonny’s hip, squeezing slightly. “I’m gonna go get some supplies, but I’ll be right back.” Jonny lets out a whimper in response and tries to curl closer to Pat. “No baby, don’t move until I get back, okay?” Another whimper.

Pat makes himself step away from Jonny and moves quickly to the living room and kitchen. He grabs Jonny’s migraine pills, two ice packs and their towels, his kindle, and the ginger ale he picked up on the way over. Before returning to the bedroom, he cranks down the A/C, knowing that Jonny, who already lets off heat like a furnace, gets even hotter when sick.

While walking back to the bedroom, Pat manages to type out a quick text to both Ross and the pitchers/catchers group chat about Jonny's condition. They immediately shoot back messages of concern, telling Pat to make sure to take care of him. As if Pat would ever do anything else.

Sticking his head through the slightly open door to see if Jonny somehow managed to fall back to sleep, Pat sees Jonny’s hand clenched, teeth sunk into his fist. “Hey, babe, no, don’t do that. I know it hurts, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself worse.” He drops everything on the nightstand except one of the ice packs, which he instead wraps in the towel and places on Jonny’s left temple. “Five more seconds, I promise.”

Pat quickly moves to his drawer, changing into clean sweats and grabbing two of Jonny’s sweaters from the closet on his way to making sure the curtains are shut tight. Slipping one of the sweaters on, he moves to Jonny’s side of the bed again. “Alright J-Bone, I need you to sit up for me.” He can tell that Jonny wants to smile at the nickname, but the tears streaming down his face ruin the attempt. Pat helps Jonny sit up, quickly tearing open the medication packet and cracking the tab on the ginger ale, sticking a straw in the opening. “Take this for me babe. Remember, let it melt under your tongue and then you can have the ginger ale. 

Jonny does as he’s told, wincing slightly when the artificial peppermint taste hits his mouth. While they wait for it to melt completely, Pat takes the time to pile the pillows against the headboard, then turns to look at Jonny. “Do you want to wear a sweater or use the comforter?” Jonny makes a face and Pat chuckles quietly. “Yeah no Arctic Boy, neither is not an option.” Closing his eyes as the last of the medication melts, Jonny attempts to reach out for the ginger ale. Pat steadies Jonny’s head with a hand on the back of his neck, holding the can up to his mouth with the other.

After Jonny finishes, Pat sets the can down and raises an eyebrow at Jonny in question. After another moment, Jonny points to the sweater with a muttered “ugh”. Pat smiles and helps him into the piece of clothing before moving to the end of the bed to fold down the unwanted comforter (at least unwanted by Jonny; Pat is already freezing).

Finally, Pat crawls into bed, leaning against the mountain of pillows, moves his kindle to the bed on his left side, and pulls Jonny back against his chest, right temple resting on Pat’s right shoulder, one ice pack in between; the second ice pack goes back on Jonny’s other temple. Both settled, and as comfortable as possible given the situation, Pat brushes a kiss to Jonny’s sweaty forehead and wraps his right hand up and around to scratch gently at Jonny’s scalp.

“Rest baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

**************************************************************************************************************

It takes Jonny three days to recover fully, and Pat never leaves his side. Jonny only wishes he’d been in the right frame of mind to truly enjoy it. 

Another three days later, Jonny and Pat have a win against the Nationals. The high of that only lasts long enough for their next start to end in a loss against the Padres a few days after that. 

They do however manage to end April with two more checks in the win column (Philadelphia and Arizona), and no more migraines, leaving both of them fairly content with life and each other.

The lack of headaches (not to mention the wins) seem to be lightening Jonny’s mood, which in turn lightens Pat’s. They settle back into their usual routine of spending all their time together, now minus the pain and worry. 

Jonny thanks Pat for taking care of him by taking him out to dinner, though it seems woefully inadequate for what he put him through. Pat only brushes off his thanks and worries, telling him he would do it everyday if that’s what Jonny needed.

And that hits Jonny in the chest, like a runaway fly ball. Because he knows Pat loves him, can feel it everyday and this only proves it. Somehow, it’s also just another reminder that it’s not the kind of love Jonny craves. Oh well, it is what it is, and Jonny still wouldn't give this up for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has me hella nervous, so please let me know what you think via KUDOS and/or COMMENTS please! <3


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry about how long it took to update. Covid kicked my ass for a few months, but I'm back! Hopefully this is worth the wait!

May starts glorious, winter finally leaving Chicago alone. The Cubs also manage to turn themselves around fully, winning a string of games through the first couple of weeks.

Pat’s overjoyed, soaking up the sun and reveling in winning with Jonny against the Dodgers and the Nationals. Jonny’s migraines seem to have subsided, and that allows Jonny to bask in Pat’s happiness, feeling a tiny bit smug that he’s part of the reason why.

Jonny manages to pull out a win against the Padres in mid-May through sheer stubbornness, but his luck soon runs out and he pays for it only a few hours later when the next migraine hits with full force, knocking him off his feet and sending him stumbling into Pat as they walk into their hotel room. Pat catches him, stumbling slightly under Jonny’s greater weight before leading him over to the bed. “Babe, are you okay?”

Jonny can’t answer, too busy closing his eyes tight to the searing pain in his temples, holding back the nausea rising in his throat. His efforts are in vain and seconds later he’s hurling into the trash can Pat shoves in his face.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Pat’s voice is dry but obviously concerned. After settling Jonny on the bed, Pat says he’ll be right back and runs to the ice maker so he can throw together a few makeshift ice packs. When he returns to Jonny, he’s just leaning back against the headboard after using the trash can again. He looks miserable and Pat’s chest hurts seeing him this way. “Come on, baby. You know the drill.”

**************************************************************************************************************

Two days later, and Pat finally puts his foot down and convinces Jonny to see the team doctor because he’s obviously not getting better. And because Pat honestly can’t stand seeing Jonny in pain anymore. Everyone on the team knows they haven’t been to practices or games because of Jonny’s head but until now, Jonny had been reluctant to bother Dr Terry, who’d already visited once to check on him.

This time, Jonny gives in far more graciously than Pat had anticipated, which only causes Pat’s worry to increase. Jonny is a stubborn SOB when he’s sick and seems to be under the impression that he can simply will himself better through sheer tenacity. 

Dr Terry starts to scold Jonny (and Pat) for waiting so long to tell him the migraines were getting worse, but gives up halfway through, rolling his eyes. He starts Jonny on a new prevention regimen, and warns them both that it may be a week or two before they start to see results. 

In the meantime, Ross starts rotating Pat in with other pitchers, and tries to send Jonny home early from the road trip. Jonny embraces that idea about as well as anyone expected (“I’m not an invalid. I’m just down for a couple weeks.” “Babe...that’s what invalid means. I see that college education is working overtime for you.”) and in the end, he’s allowed to stay with the team, but he’s benched from playing.

The next day they travel to Pittsburgh and it’s clear Jonny has another migraine on the plane. All the guys make sure to remain subdued and while Jonny feels guilty, he’s also incredibly thankful. He spends the trip with his head buried in Pat’s chest, whimpering every time the plane hits turbulence. Pat spends the ride wincing in sympathy, running his hands through Jonny’s hair, whispering nonsense in Jonny’s ear.

**************************************************************************************************************

The team spends three days in Pittsburgh, and Jonny finally shows some signs of improving on the last day there, although his mood is crankier than ever. “Dude. What is up with you? You look like someone just told you the White Sox won the World Series.” Pat drops himself onto the bed next to Jonny, nudging him with his toes when he doesn’t answer.

“Fuck you, stop. Your toenails are like daggers. And I do not.” Jonny crosses his arms over his chest and pouts. 

“Uh huh. Sure, you’re not.” Pat grins and tucks his head into Jonny’s shoulder, knowing it’s easier for Jonny to talk about his feelings when he doesn’t have to look at him. “Now why are you so grouchy?”

Pat can feel Jonny rub a hand over his face before he pulls him closer. “I’m not grouchy. I’m just...annoyed.”

“About?”

“Nothing important. Just you know...” Pat hums, waiting. “Ugh. I hate that you’re catching for everyone else. There, are you happy?”

Pat lifts up his head and looks Jonny in the eye. “Not even close. I won’t be happy until you’re out there with me. As much as I love Kyle and Jon and Dylan, you’re my pitcher and I’m your catcher and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And that’s the way it’s gonna be as soon as your head stops with all this nonsense. You got that?”

Jonny smiles softly. “I got that.” He pauses and his smile turns sly. “So, what you’re saying is you love me best.”

Pat rests his head back on Jonny’s shoulder and holds him tight. “Yeah, baby. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

**************************************************************************************************************

The next stop is Milwaukee and it brings another migraine to Jonny on their second day there. Pat, beyond worried, tries to lighten the mood and comments that it’s because of where they are, and that Milwaukee makes everyone sick. Jonny would agree if he wasn’t too busy throwing up.

Dr Terry prescribes a new fast acting pain reliever and it makes Jonny loopy as fuck. But Pat doesn’t even get to truly enjoy drugged up Jonny because about thirty minutes into a monologue about the evils of St Louis sports teams, he changes Pat’s world.

“I love you, you know that?” 

Pat fondly rolls his eyes, and continues trying to wrestle the hotel comforter out of Jonny’s hands. “I know, babe. I love you, too.”

Suddenly, Jonny stops fighting back. “No, I mean I love you. I’m in love with you.” Pat drops the comforter too, and he’s pretty sure he stops breathing. “Don’t worry, I know you don’t feel the same way. And I’m okay with that. Well, not okay really, but I’ve accepted it. And I’m so thankful you’re in my life in any way that in the end it doesn’t matter because you’re my best friend and that’s worth it.” By now, Jonny’s eyes are struggling to stay open and he’s snuggled his way into Pat’s slack arms. “Totally worth it.” Seconds later, Pat hears Jonny’s gentle snores, feels them vibrate against his chest.

Pat doesn’t move. His brain is stuck in neutral and all he can do is repeat ‘Jonny’s in love with me. Jonny’s in love with me’ over and over in his head. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Ten minutes later, Pat finally shifts Jonny to a more comfortable position and reaches for his phone. Fumbling open his contacts, he manages to dial Sharpy’s number and waits impatiently for him to pick up. After what feels like hours, but is really only three rings, Sharpy answers. “Peeks, do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Don’t call me that. I need your help here. Jonny told me he’s in love with me and I don’t know what to do now.” Pat might be panicking at this point, but his brain is still mush so he isn’t sure.

There’s a pause, not a sound coming over the line. Then laughter. A lot of it. “Are you fucking serious? You tell him you’re in love with him too and then you have lots of sex that I never want to think about again. Don’t know what to do, what the hell.” 

Pat yelps in denial. “What? Sharpy, come on, I’m serious.”

“Yeah, well so am I, Kaner. Are you seriously telling me that you aren’t in love with Jonny? Because if that’s the case, then I’m more concerned about your head than his. That man has been in love with you from the day you met as Cubs, maybe even before, and you weren’t far behind.”

Pat thinks, forces himself to be honest with himself. It’s true he loves Jonny. Wants to spend every waking moment with Jonny wrapped around him. Needs to know that Jonny’s okay and when he isn’t, he needs to be the one to make it better. It’s also true that he thinks Jonny is one of the most attractive people he’s ever met, and sometimes Pat pretends to be asleep so he can feel Jonny carry him to bed.

“Oh fuck.”

He’s in love with his best friend.

He hangs up on Sharpy, because the asshole is laughing again, and because obviously he’s not going to be any help moving forward. 

Pat tosses his phone to the side and looks down at the man in his arms. Jonny’s sleeping peacefully, face smushed into Pat’s stomach, arms wrapped tight around his waist, legs all tangled together with the sheets and Pat’s. Pat couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

Which he doesn’t. Because he’s in love with him. 

Well that’s good to know.

**************************************************************************************************************  
When Pat wakes up, the sun is rising, and the bed is empty. He’s not worried, knowing Jonny’s probably off finding coffee and breakfast for Pat despite his strict - unless Pat pouts - no eating in bed rule. 

Sure enough, less than a minute later, Jonny walks into their hotel room juggling two cups of coffee and a plate piled high with food. “Hey Peeks. I come bearing gifts of thanks.” He sets the plate down on Pat’s lap, placing one of the cups on the nightstand before cradling his own against his chest, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

It didn’t seem like Jonny was aware of his confession the night before if the peaceful look on his face was any indication. Pat thinks for a moment, stuffing some eggs in his mouth while trying to decide the best course of action. After his own enlightenment, Pat’s eager to say something but knows Jonny well. He has to tread lightly here if he doesn’t want Jonny to close himself off.

Despite the fact that Pat knows Jonny’s in love with him too, he also knows Jonny well enough to know that Jonny will never admit it first. And coming out and saying that Pat loved him would lead to a bunch of questions and zero making out. Jonny had this bad habit of trying to talk people out of being attracted to him, let alone in love with him. 

So, Pat needs a plan, and he needs one quick. 

“Hey, babe. You feeling better?”

Jonny grins, stealing a piece of bacon off the plate. “Much. I was kinda groggy when I woke up, but coffee helped with that.”

Pat frowns slightly. “Doc said that might happen. Any other side effects with the new med?”

“Nope.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

“Are you in love with me?”

“Ye…oh shit.” 

Pat grins, moving the plate off to the side. He quickly climbs into Jonny’s lap before he can pull a runner, wrapping himself around him completely. “Excellent. I’m in love with you too. Wanna make out?”

“Wait, what?” Jonny looks shellshocked, but he automatically wraps his arms around Pat’s waist, holding him steady on his lap, so Pat counts it as a win anyway. 

Pat leans forward to a press a soft kiss to the corner of Jonny’s mouth. Jonny hasn’t shaved since the day before, so his stubble is scratchy against Pat’s lips; he’s surprised by how much he likes it. 

Pulling back slightly, Pat runs gentle hands through Jonny’s hair, stomach flipping over in happiness the way it always does when Jonny leans into the caress. God, Pat is such an idiot; how did he not realize how in love he is? “I love you.”

“I know you do.” Jonny blinks open his eyes, and they’re dark, wet, and resigned. “But that’s not the same thing as being in love, Peeks. And that’s okay. I don’t know how you found out, but I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you.”

Pat can’t help but roll his eyes fondly. This right here? This is what he was trying to avoid. “What if I want you to expect something from me? What if I’m in love with you too? What if you getting all loopy on pain meds and confessing that you’re in love with me is exactly what I needed to realize that I feel the same way? Did you think about that?”

Jonny blinks, “Um, no, actually. I never thought about that.” Jonny’s hands tighten on Pat’s hips, squeezing over and over. “So, um…you’re in love with me too? Are you sure? Because I need you to be sure. I know you aren’t into guys and I really can’t handle you remembering that on your own, so I feel like I should remind you and hmfph!”

Pat stops the rambling with a kiss, just a simple press of his lips against Jonny’s but it does the job and sends sparks of pleasure up Pat’s spine, especially when Jonny tentatively kisses back, pushing into the pressure. 

They stay like that, soft, gentle kisses traded back and forth for a few minutes, until Jonny finally breaks apart. Pat whimpers in protest, moving forward, trying to steal another kiss. “Baby, wait. We need to talk about this.” Pat shivers at the pet name; while Pat has always used ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ freely when it comes to Jonny (reason number fifty-seven Pat’s an idiot for not realizing earlier), Jonny rarely used terms of endearment. Other than ‘Peeks’ of course (number fifty-eight). 

“Hmmm, make out now, talk later.” Pat lets out a happy little moan when he catches sight of Jonny’s neck, long, golden, and hella distracting. The groan turns frustrated when Jonny pulls Pat away from temptation. “Fine, talk it is. Spoilsport.”

Jonny snorts in amusement that fades the longer he looks at Pat, disheveled and gorgeous in his lap, lips red and swollen, eyes wide and full of love. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” Jonny can’t believe it, but the evidence is right in front of him. “You’re really in love with me.”

It’s said half statement, half question, and Pat nods firmly while wiggling his way back into Jonny’s arms. He’s always like being there. “I really, really am. I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize but now that I know, I’m not sure I’ve ever not been in love with you.”

Jonny finally smiles, the one that lights up his whole face, the one Pat’s been getting for years, the one Pat’s never seen Jonny give anyone else. 

“Okay then. We’re doing this?”

Pat grins and steals another kiss. “We’re doing this. Now can we make out?”

“Nope.” Pat growls, and Jonny laughs, delighted and so, so relieved. “Now we get ready for the team meeting.”

Pat grumbles his way through getting dressed, mollified with sweet kisses, enthusiastic butt gropes, and promises of making it to at least second base after the game. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Jonny remains migraine free through the last day in Milwaukee and the homestand against Miami, so they carefully approach Doc and Rossy, hoping Jonny can get back on the mound. 

Dr Terry agrees, saying the new medications are working and that Jonny should be good to return, as long as he and Pat promise to come to him if things start to get worse again or “there will be consequences”.

“Trust me. I’ll be all over him like white on rice.” Pat’s grin is sleazy, but if they notice, Dr Terry and Ross choose to ignore it. Jonny is thankful for that, and happily drags Pat out of Doc’s office. 

That night, Jonny and Pat lead the Cubs to a blowout win against Cincinnati, the hometown crowd screaming Jonny’s name as he throws his first no hitter of the season. Through the mob of his teammates around him, Jonny feels Pat mouth ‘I love you’ into his neck and he smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> There's eight chapters total to this fic, and the goal is to update at least once a week. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


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